August 6, 2016
Dear Diary Journal,
My name is Derek and this is day one of the healing process. My love fiancé Jeff and I have been together for five years and we’ve been fighting for a while now. I felt that we needed to go to couples counseling. Patricia, with her short blonde hair, handed each of us a notebook and asked us to write in it after each session and whenever we need to at home.
For the first day, she wanted us to sit across from each other and not talk anything out, but simply to to simply stare at each other. Looking into each other’s eyes like we used to when it was romantic instead of straining. It was nice to hear silence instead of midnight screaming. His eyes read angry and his blood could have boiled a carton of eggs. Jeff didn’t want to do this, but I told him “If you love me, you will.”
Jeff and I agreed to put aside a half hour after each session to writing our journal entry. I hope he takes this seriously and doesn’t turn into “Asshole Fun Jeff”. Fun Jeff is all about “bros over hoes” and spends all of his time with the guys, performing a circle jerk going on stupid adventures.
I love Jeff to death, but God there is so much work to do.
August 6, 2016
This is stupid in my opinion. Derek and I argue, but all relationships argue have arguments. No one is perfect. I’ve learned that therapy is a great business because we are paying a lot of money for this and we didn’t even address anything today. We were told to write about our feelings in a 98 cent journal and then stare at each other for about twenty minutes. We could have done that at home. Free of charge. But my condescending lovely Derek left me with an ultimatum. There we go, that’s an issue. I’m constantly offered ultimatums instead of love.
“Take out the trash or we’re not having sex.”
“If you don’t spend time with my mother, the wedding is off.”
I want to please him, but I don’t think I’ll ever live up to his standards.
However, Derek wore his black and white tank top with the word Cali” written across the chest. He looked so hot. I miss angry sex. Grabbing his brunette head and shoving it down onto my dick. I miss Derek.
I hope this is all worth it at the end of the day.