August 8, 2016
Last night was brutal. I’m so hungover. I lied to Derek last night about staying late at the office and went out with my buds Mike and Drew last night. What When we go out, it’s always interesting since Mike is straight, Drew is bisexual, and I’m gay. But back to Derek…
I know that I should be trying to fix our relationship, but I don’t want to keep fighting and keep stressing stress Derek and myself out more than we already are. I want to have fun and with the guys I always have fun. Derek doesn’t drink, he doesn’t really like to party go out, but after work, I need to destress from the world of advertising.
My boss, Robert Gulch, is a fucktard hob knocker almost 80 years old and can barely keep his teeth in his mouth. We call him Franklin because he makes a turtle look like an Olympic runner. I’m trying to secure my spot at getting the promotion when Franklin decides to retire, but I gotta have to deal with Drew’s bitch ex-girlfriend, Stacy. She’s beautiful, charismatic, and will wear your skin if you get in her way. One thing that pisses me off is she’s good friends with Derek, but since Drew left her for a man (sorry bitch. Grow a penis. No but I find it funny), she stopped being friends with me by association.
Derek is a good guy. I’ve never told him this, but sometimes I don’t think I’m good enough to be with him. He deserves the best. We’re probably here because of me.
When I first saw him in that Chinese joint, he was the only one I could see. Sticks were rubbing together in my chest and sparking this exhilarating fire inside. I didn’t get to see him again until about two months later. Drew, Stacy, and I went snowboarding (Stacy prefers skiing) in the next state over. What else do you do in the snow? We had put all of our gear on and suddenly Derek entered was trespassing my memories. He was having trouble putting on the rental ski boots while two of his friends were talking loudly a few feet away from him. Those past cherished emotions that were almost obsolete resurfaced and skimmed hope.
Walking up to towards him rehearsed my vision to perform in slow motion. “Do you need some help?” I asked, not being able to contain a smile.
His glazed look blossomed “Hey! It’s you. No, I’m all set thank you.”
“It might be summer by the time you get the boots on.” I winced.
I lifted his right foot onto my knee, pulled his sock tight and began locking the boot on.
“Not too tight.” He whispered.
“It has to be or you’re going to fly out of the ski.” I reassured him. “And I would like to see you again.”
He blushed “Then maybe I shouldn’t leave without your number this time. I’m Derek.”
“Jeff. And I recommend that you don’t.”
I didn’t want to leave his side. His presence felt like I was welcomed home. I-
I gotta throw up.