Are you in situations where you, just you, are hanging out with a couple? Everyone knows this as being the “third wheel”. No!!!! Life and your social existence are forever extinct. Totally kidding, you are still alive and you are going to have fun in these situations unless you choose to be miserable.
It’s a safe assumption that at least one of them is your friend hence why you’re enduring this type of hangout. Some things you won’t have control over (ex. If they start making out right next to you), but you can also end up leading the hangout with confidence.
If you are only friends with half of the relationship:
-Exterminate any elephant in the room and get to know your friend’s partner. Figure out who they are as a person and latch onto anything you two have in common.
-Give them time to talk about things, but don’t evaporate yourself. One of the most common occurrences in third wheel hangouts is the couple hangs out like there’s no one else with them and the single individual becomes isolated and mute.
If you dislike your friend’s partner:
-Try to be civil. You don’t want you and your friend to have a falling out over who they are doing. Focus conversing with your friend and hang out with both of them for shorter periods (1-2 hour sessions).
-Plan more hangouts with just your friend. Some people (maybe you and your friend’s partner) unfortunately won’t ever mesh with each other whether it’s polar opposite interests & beliefs or the way one’s actions & words are interpreted by another. Why be stressed through a situation where you are trying to have fun?
If you are friends with both individuals in the relationship:
-This is a great situation because you can have in-depth conversations with both people, preventing you from being the one whose outside looking in.
-Be included, but also respect boundaries. This varies on how you are your friends are because my friends and I joke all the time and sometimes with sexual innuendo, but other groups of friends are a little more reserved. If your friend(s) is/are in a relationship, it’s not attractive to be flirting and draped all over one of them. I used to ask myself “If I was in a relationship, would I want one of my friends flirting with my partner all night? Probably not.”
Some Extra Tips:
-If a couple is purposely excluding you and being full hands on each other while you’re there, it’s not worth your sanity to hang out with those types of people. They are either jerks or lack self control with each other.
-If they are being indecisive about what to do, take the initiative to make suggestions. If you are indecisive, try to come together as a group on doing something where no one is going to feel left out or feel bored easily.
-If your friend is starting to act differently in front of you and their partner, don’t banish them out of your life. It’s common for people to start meshing with who they are dating if they have strong feelings for them. If they are starting to dabble in activities that affect their well-being, then be there to try to help them through it; never walk out of someone’s life unless you’re being shoved out and being destroyed in the process.
Being single, I’ve learned that everyone as an individual has the power to be the best that they can be. You can still shine just as bright as someone who is in a relationship. You don’t have less worth being single. If anything, I’ve been able to figure out who I am so that I can make someone in the future feel special the way that they should be treated.
Have a fantastic day everyone! 🙂
© Frank Anthony 2016